Aikido and the Mediator mindset

The parties control the content - but the mediator controls the process

You may recall hearing this phrase as part of the mediation training – or may have used this as part of the ‘welcome stage’ or in premeditation.

So let’s have a look at a Japanese martial art called Aikido and compare the philosophy to mediation process.

For those people not familiar with Aikido a useful starting point have a look at Alan Roberts Sensei from Auckland 

Interviewer: Can you give me an example of how non resistance (in Aikido) works?

Alan Sensei: Let's say there is some one over there who wants to do something (stab with a knife) to me

An approach to be is to may be... to try to stop her from doing this (action)

One of the problems with this is when you try to stop some thing one way - they know that they are being stopped so it gives them an option to something else and I would lose any advantage...

Another thing might just be to run ... this is actually not bad ....only if can run faster

(in Aikido) the other possibility is she wants to stab me - but I am going to keep moving so she can keep stabbing me - in fact I have actually moved from stopping her to helping her to stab me - but I am not going to be there for me to stab ... and then continue to bring her under my control (subdues opponent and pins to the floor)

I trained with Alan Sensei in Japan as a live in student one winter in 1989 under the late Morihito Saito 9th Dan Shihan in a small village called Iwama north of Tokyo. To be honest, I was fairly crap at Aikido but I really enjoyed hanging out with excellent role models when I started to train in North Sydney when I was in highschool and I quite liked playing the role of the agressor only to be thrown 10ft across the tatami mats . To see a bit of more advanced Aikido (no offences to Alan Sensei) have a look at my old master Saito Shihan in action.

Similarities to Mediation skills?

Strategically calm down the attack

Notice how the Alan Sensei confronts the opponent – he is calm and deals with the situation – as a mediator would consider the mindfulness by bringing peaceful presence to the room no testosterone, no fear. Remember parties will pick a fight – even with the mediator,

Aikido never meets force with force

Allowing the party to vent – rather than denying the opportunity – allowing the party think the attack can fully go through. Rather than dealing conflict as mere aggression, denial, or resistance that needs to be stopped or the mediator shouts down at the noisy part of the mediation.

The sensei saw venting as part of the process to positively deal with conflict rather than a negative and a contest.

Decisive movements designed to use the attacker's force against then

In aikido, the idea is to blend with your attacker by moving with his or her energy. By doing so, you are able to determine the direction of your attacker and can more easily join and redirect the energy of the attack.

In mediation the role is to identify the issues by blending with the parties and carrying the energy negative by reframing into neutral eye of the storm. The mediator takes the parties where they have no choice but to blend and hear each other before the mediator carries/prepares the parties past the point of no return in to the negotiation sphere.

The Aikido Master never seeks to destroy relationships

In Aikido there is no competition – the structure of the training precludes any way of a person being ‘awarded’ a gold medal - there is no winner.

The Aikido masters acknowledge the other parties existence - rather than trying to avoid or deny it, or have one party shamed and lose face – mediators they create an opportunity to always allow the parties to maintain relationships.

The "3 A's" of conflict resolution.

Parties to a conflict must acknowledge its existence - rather than trying to avoid or deny it, accept their involvement, appreciate the feelings and viewpoints of all parties to the problem - without making judgments, and be open to new ideas that might lead to solutions

Now working up the ranks...according to Saito Shihan's teacher Morihei Ueshiba

"As soon as you concern yourself with the 'good' and 'bad' of your fellows, you create an opening in your heart for maliciousness to enter. Testing, competing with, and criticizing others weaken and defeat you."

.... he would be a tough one to agrue that point.... 

I guess the values I have picked up 10 years training Aikido in my formative years seems to have a fit with the values and presence I bring to the mediation space - Sure, it's been a while I had to throw any one like the old man is above (although I concede the grand master would have pulled that manouvre less effort than I) 

I have always noticed the masters in mediaton bring a certain 'presence' to what is often a hostile space - it is something subtle and something that can not be scripted the masters  draw stregth deep from within...