Medi-Asian - is mediation really an Asian concept?

Concept of Face and Saving it in Asian Culture

I refer to Professor Bee Chen Goh's article in the Bond Law Review 

"Remedies in dispute resolution can differ from culture to culture. For instance, with the Chinese who tend to be relational, the idea of tea drinking and feasting can carry cultural significance, and play an important part in the resolution of disputes."



and another Blog by Ian MacDuff I have been following with great interest

Whilst I will not disagree with much that has been discussed especially in the rural context as a "Kelapa Desa" or a village elder resolved disputes - but I do wonder if those peacemakers are actually mediating or doing some thing that is more akin to 'face-saver' than being a mediator in a strict sense.
  
If we look at the dictionary definition of the word saving face, the most applicable in this context would be:
6. a. Value or standing in the eyes of others; prestige: lose face.
also in my native Japanese 顔を立てる (kao o tateru) literally means "getting a face lift"


A useful article The cultural conundrum of losing face Catherine Munro

"It is widely believed that losing face is an experience to which Asians are particularly sensitive, whether during day-to-day interactions such as catching a taxi or between leaders on the world stage. But such a claim is a great excuse for avoiding a tough topic, when necessary. "Asians don't like to lose face," a politician might say. It's a great way to kill a debate."

In other words - are the the village elders really resolving conflict or effectively manipulating conflict in such a way that the disputing parties have no choice but to drink tea and feast with the peace maker to negotiate? Given that Confucianism (of respecting elders in particular) ingrained  in to the psyche of the majority - I would imagine it would be almost impossible to decline an invitation by the elder to not only attend the meeting but also there would have been an obligation to also resolve the dispute so that the elder does not lose face.

It is for this reason I can only imagine that mediation nirvarna could only occur in rural areas where the parties have limited access to justice have no alternatives to 'elder' dispute resolution.  The only exception to the rural is if the parties lived in North Korea where strict Neo-Confucianism is adopted where no one would dare get into conflict with their comrades in fear of offending their "Dear Leader".

So according to the Shaolin Tiger - to not lose you face (or even worse someone else's)

1. Don't show anger, don't lose your temper
2. Avoid saying no directly
3. Try and make everything win-win wherever possible
4. Apologise if you think you offended someone
5. Defer to those 'above' you (Age and seniority)
6. Address people using the Honorific
7. Be mild in giving criticism
8. Follow what others do (e.g. if someone hands you something with 2 hands, take it with two hands)

To gain face, give face; to lose face, try to save face or take face away. Frydherik Eysenkopf